Main characters:
Alan Fleming	'82 Honda XR500R
Joel Frahm	KTM 350
Jeff Deeney	Yamaha XT600

5:30am is a damned fine time to discover your trailer lights aren't working. Its even more annoying when you're supposed to be somewhere in an hour that is an hour away. Its completely annoying when your trailer isn't titled or tagged (yes, bike trailers have to be tagged in Colorado) and you're hoping to avoid attention.

Nonetheless, some things are too important to let little things like tickets stand in the way. Besides, when you're stupid enough to ride over a 12,000 ft pass in February, pulling an untagged trailer is small potatoes. So at 5:45am, I pulled out of my driveway and headed into Boulder. After an (thankfully) uneventful drive down the canyon, I got to Joel Frahm's house just as he was putting the last pieces on his KTM after some emergency radiator repairs. We loaded his KTM onto his three rail trailer, then put my '82 XR500R aboard. I threw a big duffle of bike gear into Joel's Wagoneer, he grabbed a handful of CDs and we were off. The drive down to Golden was nice, as the morning was slightly chilly and the sunrise very colorful.

In Golden, we stopped at Kenrows for breakfast. Jokes were told, stories related, pancakes eaten. I paid (to thank Joel for driving) and we were headed for Grant and the 1997 Elephant Ride.

I'm no historian but its my understanding that the Elephant Ride started sometime in the mid 80s by a bunch of Beemer riders. Who knows the real truth (I learned by version from a video tape, shot oddly enough by a group of Beemer riders) but the effect is the same regardless. Once a year, sometime around February 15th, a bunch of motorcyclists get together in the little town of Grant, Colorado and attempt to ride over Guanella Pass. The Pass if about 15 miles away form Grant and the little town of Georgetown is on the other side, another 13 miles beyond that. The Pass itself is just under 12,000 ft (11,669' is the number I've heard) with a long, gradual southern slope on the Grant side and a steeper northern slope towards Georgetown. The idea is simply to get on a motorcycle in the morning, attempt to ride over to Georgetown for lunch and then return to Grant via the same route. Its certainly sounds easy...

A little over an hour later, after an unsuccessful attempt to find a place to gas up my XR, we pulled into a nearly empty parking lot along side 285 in Grant, CO. A couple of empty bike trailers, a van/trailer combo with a modified Suzuki PE and a Honda XR400, a truck/trailer with two 4-wheelers and a pickup with a Yamaha TT500 aboard were all in the parking area. Another collection of bikes was parked in front of the restaurant next door includings a early 70s Honda CB750K, a Yamaha Venture with snow mobile cleats on the tires and a Honda Transalp with California plates and lots of camping gear strapped on.

Joel and I walked down Guanella Pass road to the camp area where we found a handful of vintage bikes and their respective riders. Tharp headed rode by in his old Beemer sidecar rig heading up to the restaurant. A beautiful Norton Commando, another old Beemer hack and stunning late 40s Harley rig were all squirrel away in the woods. As Joel and I arrived back at the parking area, the XR400 rider started showing off with massive wheelies and lurid rear tire slides. While he was busy acting stupid, more bike transports continued to arrive. Steve "Scooter Scum" Johnson showed up with his KX-321. A van arrived with Jeff Deeney (and his XT 600) and two of his friends (both with Honda XRs).

Todd Blachowiak and Kristin Hansen arrived (unfortunately, in Todd's pickup...sigh, how the mighty have fallen...) Todd decided to take my XR for a spin and immediately ran it out of fuel. I switched to reserve and nervously asked Deeney if he had any spare gas. When he answered in the negative, I mentally guessed at gas mileage, probably amount of fuel in the tank, how much was going to spill when I dumped the bike, etc. What the hell...half the ride is down hill, right? I can always coast... Todd also discovered that the XR was pretty skiddish feeling on the asphalt, this attributed to the new Cheng Shin knobbies and the three hundred #10 1/2 inch sheet metal screws I'd applied. Despite the strange handling, the motor seemed to pull just fine so at least there were no mechanical problems there.

While all this was underway, the flow of arrivals gradually increased until around 10am when the parking area, restaurant parking lot and road shoulder across 285 were full of bikes. Someone had brought a box of purple Hawaiian leis, so we took the opportunity to get laid...err...leid before the ride.

Just as we were heading back to the bikes (we decided to start early to avoid getting stuck in the mass of bikes), Lazlxzo rode up on his R100 and Jim Bessette showed up (in a cage). With the official DoD hellos exchanged myself, Joel and Steve headed back to the bikes. The XR turned over on the first kick and I waited while the two smokes warmed up. Then we headed off up the road to Guanella Pass.

Unlike last year, the road was clear and dry. The XR made slow weaving motions like it had bad swingarm bearings. The idea that something was wrong with the bike had me more concerned than the fact that I was rounding off the traction devices I'd spent hours installing and was hoping would help me in the ice/snow further along the road. Since I've never ridden knobbies on pavement and certainly never ridden knobbies with ice screws, I decided the unnerving feel was normal and proceeded along at a good clip behind Joel and Steve.

Unfortunately, I we arrived at the 2.2 mile mark (where last year's attempt ended) without so much as seeing snow. In fact, by the time we neared Floyd hill (about 10 miles from the start) we'd only barely seen ice or snow. Unlike the challenging conditions of last year, this was basically a cruise down a maintained dirt road. Sigh. Floyd hill was covered in a thin (maybe a couple of inches thick) layer of packed snow. The XR still felt unstable and the smallest amount of throttle caused the rear to kick out to the right. The solution was to put the bike in second gear, put my feet out like outriggers and putt along at low rpm.

I passed two bikes along the way. One guy was rolling a KDX along, looked like he'd slid out on the ice. A second guy was parked about halfway up Floyd Hill watching back down the hill. I presume he was just waiting to watch the carnage as the street bikes tried to climb up the ice. However, with no real trouble and without any tumbles, I made it up to the top. Joel and Steve were waiting, both having had time to remove their helmets before I arrived.

Shortly after our arrival, other bikes started rolling in. Deeney pulled in on his big XT. We immediately compared ice screws: I was missing 8 or 10. The center line were worn but still serviceable. Deeney was missing more, presumably because he was working the rear tire harder than I was. All the while, he dirt bike continued to arrive. The XR400 pilot made an entrance with a wheelie and some tire sliding. His buddy on a modified Suzuki PE arrived with oil leaking from a cracked crankcase. Ouch!

While we were taking pictures, the first of the street bikes started showing up. The early 70s CB-750 pulled in. He's used a nifty cordura nylon tire wrap that had ice screws on it. That Transalp pulled in, ATV tire changes attached. The Norton Commando and an early Triumph showed up. The sidecar rigs were also well represented with Tharp's old Beemer and the Harley rig both arriving promptly. Doc Frasier and his passenger showed up on his big R-80/GS. He then promptly dumped the thing and busted on of the aluminum saddle bags. Ouch, Pt. II!

Steve spent a while looking at the huge snowbanks at the top (piled up by the snow plows) and his KDX. Eventually, he mounted up and made a run at the bank The bike made decent progress up the 45 degree bank but eventually slowed and the rear tire dug in, leaving the bike stuck upright on the slope. This spurred Deeney into mounting the might XT and making a run. Again, good progress was made but the lack of momentum eventually caused the rear tire to dig in. Deeney wasn't easily swayed, so more attempts were made, each getting higher. All this got Mr. XR400 moving and soon both bikes were rushing the snow bank. Even the CB750 got into the act with spectacular (though less successful) results. The XR400 pilot eventually reached the top, amid he applause of the crowd. However, this achievement was soon topped as a '46 Indian Chief made some attempts. These didn't get very far up the embankment but made for huge entertainment value as the bike augered into the snow and sent the rider flying. Ouch, Pt III!

More general craziness took place with various attempts to climb the snow banks. While all this was going on, Lazslo Nemeth arrived on his R-100. Undoubtably the largest bike to make the top without the aid of traction devices.

The early arrivals all decided to again leave early and head into Georgetown for lunch. The northern slope was likely to be more icy, so perhaps things would be more challenging. Laz lead the way but then stopped when we hit some foot deep snow drifts. Joel and I went on past and started churning along. A photographer had already setup and I nearly provided him with entertainment as the XR's front wheel went sideways in the drift. I kept the bike upright and got going again.

The 8 or so miles down to the reservoir was definitely worse than the southern slope but my slow, steady progress got me through the worst of it without any falls. At one point, Joel waited up. Once I went past he flagged me down and told me the rear wheel was warped. Ah! So that explains why things had felt so weird!

Once on clean roads, I picked the pace and made the switchbacks above Georgetown quickly enough. Once I started down the bike hiccuped and died. I'd finally run out of gas. Since the switchbacks are steep, I just put the bike in neutral and coasted along. Slowed for the corners and sped back up on the straights. I coasted about two miles before finally entering Georgetown and coasting to the parking area where Deeney and his buddies were waiting.

We all unmounted and walked over to the Full Circle Cafe for lunch. The wait staff gave us strange looks but warmed up when Joel and I gave them our leis. We ordered food, then swapped bike stories. While we were in the midst of this, Laz comes walking in. I was amazed. I thought sure he'd turned back up at the top. He joined our table and claimed the ride down wasn't so bad. I'm still reluctant to believe that... Our food finally arrived, much to the dismay of all of us, as the food was uniformly greasy. Oh well, at least we had some good conversation.

Back out to the bikes, I jumped on the XR and coasted the two blocks to the gas station. Unfortunately, this was closed so I ended up pushing the bike about a mile to the station near the Interstate. This is No Fun (tm) in a snowmobile suit, winter gloves, boots and dirt armour. Just as I finished gassing up Deeney arrived to see if I was having a problem. We headed back to the parking area. Deeney and his friends headed on up. I adjusted the brakes (I'd originally adjusted them softer than necessary) and checked the rear wheel. A huge dent in the rim was causing about an inch of runout. Ah, that explains why things felt so skiddish.

The ride back to the reservoir was boring. The roads had enough snow drifts to require prudent speeds but not enough to make things difficult. The biggest problem was avoiding traffic as the morning's cross country skiers were heading back out of mountains.

Above the reservoir, things were again slow. Uphill climbs again resulted in the rear tire spinning. Moreso now then earlier, since the rear ice screws were severely worn after all the dry pavement. About a mile before the summit, Deeney zipped by. He'd turned back to look for me. He turned around, re-passed me and disappeared in a cloud of snow. I upped the pace a bit but didn't have a chance of keeping up. I didn't even stop at the top but waved to Joel and headed back down to Grant. Joel caught up quickly enough and again prompted me to speed up a bit. On the downhill, I was more more confident about letting the rear slide around but the front sliding still freaked me out.

Once I reached the dry pavement beneath Floyd Hill, I sped up considerably and actually lost sight of Joel. Only a couple times did I have a scare, both times as the front wheel pushed through soft mud. No other problems all the way to the nearly empty parking area. There, Deeney and his friends were loading up. Joel pulled in just after I'd stopped, apparently the ice screws made his bike feel skiddish around 50. Since my bike had felt that way all day, it hadn't bothered me.

We took a few photos, then loaded up the bikes and changed back into street clothes. After helping the TT500 rider load his bike, we headed back towards Boulder. A couple of hours of conversation later, we pulled into Joel's driveway at 5:30pm. Since I was still worried about attracting police attention with my trailer lights, I opted to load up and take off immediately.

The drive home was uneventful and I pulled into my driveway around 6:30pm. The biggest problem of the day turned out to be backing my trailer into the garage. My driveway was covered in snow, so the Jeep would just sit and spin. I eventually just unloaded the bike, then unhooked the trailer and pushed it into the garage. After unloading the gear from the Jeep, I declared the ride a success.

It wasn't nearly as difficult as I'd hoped, mainly because I was riding a bike well suited to the situation. If I'd taken my GSXR, I'm sure it would have been plenty challenging. Nonetheless, at least I can now claim to have completed an Elephant Ride. Besides, most of my sheet metal screws are still usable so there is always next year.

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